5:30 and tipsy

Just got home from a drinking session with Carlo, Ram and Kuya Roui. Imagine my horror to see the front door open -- then it hit me, sunrise service. Oh fuck. Kuya and I sneaked into the house quietly, but our eyes widened when we saw my Uncle sitting on the couch. Kuya was able to mutter, "Hi Lolo," and dashed to the room, leaving me in the sala. I simply smiled at him, and left immediately, hoping I could get to the room fast enough not to encounter my parents (who were preparing for the service inside their room.) Otherwise I'd have to lie, and stay as far from them as possible -- I smelled of 3 Tanduay flats and a pack of yosi. Yikes.

When I got into the room, Kuya (who was STINKIN drunk by the way) was sprawled on the bed - I locked the door and stayed inside my sister's closet. Swear. When I heard the car leave, I turned on the computer and typed this thing away.

It's been a while since I've been to Carlo's house. It's surely a notorious place for, uhm... let's say, misdeeds and odd connections. Tonight was no different. I'll spare you the details, don't worry. But I did have fun... It reminded me of the old times. But this time it was BETTER. The company was a lot better, perhaps? I don't know. Maybe.

Just wishing the rest of my Founders Celeb experience could be as fun as this one. In the meantime, I have to sleep. And think of a good explanation for my parents.

Good morning!

ramblings

Do forgive me for the long absence. I would've wanted to blog about a lot of things, but somehow, I got too lazy to write anything down.

I should be having coffee with Bernice right now, but my phone died on me again, and I couldn't find her anywhere. I'm now at my Mom's office, I came to use her phone instead. I've been waiting for an hour, but my Mom still isn't here. I've opened and checked all the networking sites I'm in, I've bloghopped already, I've watched semi-interesting videos on youTube, but I'm still bored. I want coffee. And I want to talk to Bernice. Where is my Mom??

I recently found out that I AM evil. I guess pain and anger can bring out the worst in people. I haven't been the best person lately. And I'm not proud of it. You know, I do things without thinking of the repercussions. And in the end I realize how stupid those acts were, but I couldn't do anything about them anymore. People get hurt. I feel guilty. I run away.

Haaay. And I thought I was a good person. There goes heaven. LOL.

Last night I was the person I hate the most when partying - the kill joy. What the. And I don't even know why I was so stingy. I hope no one got annoyed with me. But if some did, I wouldn't blame them. I got annoyed with me too. Imagine interrupting my friends on the dance floor and threatening them that I was going home if we weren't going to leave the place soon. And they were having fun pa ha. But they stopped dancing and went outside with me.

And now, I'm making Bernice wait because I'm writing stupid ramblings.

I'm not too happy with myself lately. I'm hating me right now. Blegh.

Another post tournament ramble

I've been having extra crappy days post VMDC. I wonder if this is just one of my usual tournament hangovers, or if the sudden jolt of reality took me by surprise - and made me realize how boring my life must've been before its temporary suspension in Ilo-Ilo. I still wake up hoping to find myself in Sarabia, and see BJ sleeping soundly on the next bed, waiting for me to tell him it's his turn to take a bath.

I'd like to think I'm not alone expriencing this bitter depression, but something tells me that it's just me who has yet to recover. It's been 4 days since VMDC"s conclusion - and unlike the other debaters who can now go back to studies and jobs they put on hold, I am left with little to do, and nothing to look forward to. Ugh. I seriously need to get a life.

I miss the adj core - Sharms and her outfits, Cyris and her funny, crazy hirits, Aids and his semi-dirty jokes (haha), BJ and his very revealing stories, and Andrew and his nogness/gayness (LOL). Of course all five of them were great - I learned a lot from them, given their experience and achievements (and age, haha). I really didn't expect them all to be so accommodating of a beginner like me. But they were. And I'm grateful. =)

I miss the debaters. I loved looking at their expressions when match ups were flashed, when motions were released. You could almost feel the rush from everyone when they disperse, to start prepping with their teammates and recalling who compose the teams they were up against. The convening room would be noisier than ever, and the adjudicators would stay behind to wait for room assignments. And the adj core would share a laugh or two before heading to the debate rooms.

I miss adjing. I had a blast seeing the new blood in action and listening to solid speeches from already established debaters. Having to give wins and losses was difficult, but I gladly took on the challenge and tried to perfect my oral adjudication. Although it was torture, I waited for the adj feedback forms, hoping I didn't disappoint anyone enough to give me less than a 3.

I miss cheering people on - especially the Silliman teams.

I miss the bonding moments - the games we played, the beers and non-alcoholic cocktails (haha) we drank, the places we went to, and the stories we shared.

Gahhhd. I miss everything about that tournament. How I wish I could go back to Ilo-Ilo easily and still see everyone there. People leaving one by one the morning after the Championship night was really hard to swallow. That was when it dawned on me that it was all over.

Clyde and I were supposed to stay another night, but changed our minds. Now I have to wait months before the next complete debate experience.

Ugh, I have to go back to sulking now. =(